(Note: This post was from November 2015 and not a new post, wordpress error just republished it)
It has been some time since I wrote you all with a large number of characters. It’s not been from a lack of adventures, growth, or that I have stopped traveling this journey that I began sharing with you all. It’s was almost exactly three years ago that I began writing this blog.
This little slice of cyberspace has been a tremendous exercise in healing for me. Many of you have been with me since the very beginning when I was writing trail reports and sharing the very beginning about my knowledge on how I was healing from my autoimmune and GI diseases. I had no idea when I began this that it would take me where it has.
I think the most valuable lesson was just that, when you choose to begin the path to healing you must allow it to go where it leads you. I had no map. No plan. No urge to control any part of how this space was managed. I just allowed my soul to speak to me and it evolved as organically as I have. This blog has been a true testament to that evolution.
Much of what I have experienced during all this time I have spent in the outdoors is how to listen to my inner voice. Where to go when I need to quiet the noise, the expectations, the thoughts and opinions of others and what they deem as a normal or correct way of experiencing what is a very abnormal and unique journey for each of us. I had to find a place to go to find my own answers that come from inside my soul.
I found the more I fought this process, the louder it spoke to me. So I finally surrendered. I began to allow myself to be vulnerable. I allowed the uncertainty and fear. I began to understand what those illusions of attachment and ego were trying to accomplish. I forgave myself and others for falling into the traps that were created by these illusions. Then I let go.
Initially I overcame much of this by experiencing and overcoming physical pain. Climbing mountains as quickly and often as I could would get my mind off the emotional turmoil. At that time I was in no place to begin dealing with these emotions. I just climbed mountain after mountain. It also became a walking meditation of sorts. One that would put a state of focus on the task at hand while all else fell away. I look back at those days and realize how far I have come. How much I have been through. How lost I was and how that ultimately led me to finding myself again.
I can’t even begin to tally the amount of miles, tread, sweat, tears and toil I put on the dirt trails during this process. That dirt is always there for me and gives me exactly what I need each time I put my feet on it. My mind finds its path to peace this way.
Eventually my body started to follow suit. The strength and healing that began to take place within showed not only through my physical being, but through medical channels of measurement when my blood work and overall health began to improve tremendously. The nourishment and physical activity I was flooding my body with put me back into a place of health I have not felt since my early 20s. I am amazed at how capable the body is of healing naturally when it is given the right formula.
The final part of this quotient has been on a spiritual level. The overcoming of physical pain and strength I gained began to help me find the inner peace to tap into. I realized just like physical pain, you must overcome that moment where the emotions are so incredibly uncomfortable without surrendering to the pain. You acknowledge the pain and push through it without filtering or escaping it. The physical pain has paled in comparison but what a tremendous teacher pain is. It has shown me how to trust myself and my strength, both inner and outer.
I am incredibly grateful for the lessons it has provided me to continue to traverse this perfectly imperfect human journey from a better perspective and with strength and swagger I never knew I was capable of walking with.
The last few months led me on a very personal journey. One that had me on the road by myself for 3 weeks camping and sleeping in the back of my Toyota FJ. While I shared tidbids along the way with photos on my media channels, this was a journey for Jes.
It ultimately lead me to another enormous shift in my path. I needed the most crystal clear clarity during this process. Being alone for such long periods of time gave me this clarity. The open road has always been a place of serenity and strength for me. This trip was one that showed me how little I truly needed to not only to survive, but to appreciate a basic and minimalist lifestyle. It was a lesson in detachment.
I also needed to learn more lessons in the arena of self love. Ultimately the strength gathered allowed me to see and feel things past the pain, fear and hurt. It led down one of the most important paths of my journey so far, the incredible path to forgiveness. This allowed me to experience and give forms of love I didn’t know I was capable of. The most important part of my body, mind and spirit strengthened. My heart.
I have begun sharing more of this softer side of Jes through my new project SoulCare by CCC. It is a creative outlet that has turned into a whole new journey for me. I have found that my written word inspires on a larger level, however giving myself and my time on a more personal level is where I am finding I connect best to share my gifts. I will continue to spend the majority of my time growing this new space, however CCC will always be exactly what it has always been. Whatever I feel I want it to be.
Wishing you all a week full of gratitude, adventure, peace, love and dirt.